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About Varied / Student PackyFemale/Finland Recent Activity
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Hi!!! :icontardwaveplz: I would really love some premiumz! So if you would be kind enough to donate some points that would be awesome!!! Thanks bi!!! :iconyeeplz:

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Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of activity again!  I feel like I apologize for that every time I do something on here.  Tried to upload a few more drawings to here.  I keep making a conscious effort but I just keep forgetting.  XD

I used to write a lot of progress reports on my life here a long while ago so I decided to do one after a year or so!  I am missing the positive feedback and encouragement I used to have in my life from here.

I find writing things out very therapeutic and nice because a lot of the times I have such a buzz of feelings and thoughts in my head, it’s nice to arrange them on ‘paper’ every once and a while.  I have a thing where I just don’t recognize emotions in my brain and so writing this out may help me a bit.

It is absolutely okay for any of you to ignore this, as this is just a way for me to get stuff out.  But if you do have any words of encouragement, or advice, I would love to hear it.

Some of my long time friends know that I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and all sorts of things.  I thought for sure that my depression was 100% gone!  NNNNNNOPE!  XD  It came back and with a vengeance.  I get nervous and frustrated at the slightest things, almost to the point where I actually socially cannot function or think straight.

I have a lot of disorders and have been really bothered with them.  I'm lost with how to cope with these.  I’m hurting myself a lot more.  I feel like not a lot of people care about me, and I‘m a burden.

It seems of late that a lot of my family has the perception of me that I am a lazy individual, that hates hard work.  There is only one specific type of work that counts.  XD  I try really hard with my artwork, maybe not as much as I should, but it isn‘t as easy as a lot of people think.  The depression makes it harder.  Hell, it’s a struggle to just roll out of bed.  I just feel useless.  My art is nowhere near good enough to make money with, and I’m not creative enough to actually think of something clever to do with it.

A job and a place would be an instant remedy but is barely an option, because every time I step out the door I get physically sick with anxiety.  I feel really lost when it comes to applications as well.  I don’t usually have the qualifications people are looking for.

I just feel stuck.  I’m gonna be honest with this, suicide is something that I’ve been considering.  When stuff like this happens, my mind always, always goes there.  It would be a while before that became an actual option, but it’s there.

Sorry for dumping this all out!  Most of you prolly don’t want to hear/read this.  But just thought I’d throw this journal out there and tell you all the situationzzzz and stuff, ya know?  You know.  Good.  In the meantime I’m gonna drink some water.  Water is good for you, did you know?  Put some freakin ice in there and shit.  Drink it out of a straw maybe.  S’the best.

The moral of this story is drink water.  I love you guys, man!  Thanks for listening kkilubbsbigh
  • Listening to: RED- Love Will Leave a Mark
  • Watching: Animu
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: rice
  • Drinking: Water!
Rosary by PackRatTheArtist
OC drawings!  Spent a lot of time on this one.  Way too much if you ask me.  XD
I hear tell, there is a badge involved in this and it's pretty fun looking so why not!  :)



1.)  How long have you been on Deviant Art?

Four years of service!

2.) What does your user name mean?

It was a nickname I had as a kid, and it just kind of stuck!  Now I use it professionally. :)

3.) Describe yourself in three words.

Hermit, otaku, weeb.  XD  Or Loyal, Quiet, Pluviophile.  Depends which day you catch me on.

4.) Are you left or right handed?

Right.  Left hand is for CTRL+Z! XD

5.)  What is your first Deviation

I deleted a lot of my first deviations, but the one that is still there is
Drawing of a lady by PackRatTheArtist
The proportions are so gross.  XD

6.) What is your favorite type of art to create?

Digital fantasy, or traditional/digital Realism.

7.) If you could instantly master any art style, what would it be?

I don't think I've mastered any art style yet, so probably the one that I'm working on now.  :)  Although Art Nouveau would be awesome.  Oils would be amazing.  I really couldn't choose any one art style.  All of them are good!

8.) What is your first favorite?

Veloce Visrin by shilin
Is booful.

9.) What type of art do you tend to favorite the most?

Fantasy Digital art.

10.)  What is your all-time favorite Deviant Artist?

Nebezial is really great.  Very down to earth, encouraging person, with more skill than anyone I've ever seen.  I won't tag him cause he probably has a crap ton of tags. XD

11.)  If you could meet any one on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?

There's so many of my watcher friends I would absolutely love to meet in person!  :D  If I'd have to choose just one, though, I'd say Timothy-Brown. Great artist and very nice person!

12.)  How has a fellow DeviantArtist impacted your life?

This is such a hard question to answer because there has been so many of you that have been a big impact on my life.  I lead a relatively lonely life, so every friend I make on here means a lot.  I've made some friends that encouraged me spiritually, artistically, and emotionally, and just encouraged me to pursue art more, and it has been super invaluable to me.  :)  Tim, as mentoned above, Jieikobu SKatInk (edit: I forgot to add you!  How could I forget to add you omg) Retrubutionist777 Yiskah-chan Pwnisim Naonii IkedaYumiko MasterAssailant-A manaista You guys are my besties!  Sanks! :heart:

13.)  What are your preferred tools to create art?

A wacom tablet and Sai or a bunch of mechanical pencils.  :)

14.)  What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?

The only real place I create art really is in my room.  It has all my drawing materials, and it's so hard to bring that stuff around with me in other places.

15.)  What is your favorite DeviantArt memory?

There are so many good memories!  When I first started talking to people as friends on here, it was the best.  Every time I'd wake up and get on DA seeing new notifications from people always used to make me so happy!  Collaborating with artists was really fun!  I always used to love Valentines on DA too.  :)

And that's all she wrote!  ilubbskisskilubai!
  • Listening to: Dubstep mix
  • Watching: Animu
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: string beans!
  • Drinking: Water!


PackRatTheArtist's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Varied
Irish/Russian, artist, writer, and rpg player. Most likely dangerous. Approach with caution.

"Painting is a faith, and it imposes the duty to disregard public opinion." -Vincent Van Gogh

"To the man who loves art for its own sake," remarked Sherlock Holmes, "it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived."

"Whatever makes you happy, you put in your world." Bob Ross.

"Apparently Einstein defines madness as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I call that practice.... so in short , if you wanna get good... you gotta go a little bit crazy XD Huzzah!" ~Stjepan Sejic


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nattrozanska Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Professional Writer
Thanks so much for the fave <3
(1 Reply)
Melissa-Maree Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Student Artist
Thanks alot for all the faves :D
(1 Reply)
manaista Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy B-day!!:happybounce:
(1 Reply)
IkedaYumiko Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :party: :iconlawooplz: I hope you had a lovely day; all the best this year! :iconattackglompplz:
(1 Reply)
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